Rough Draft

I was slumped on the couch surrounded by my usual Sunday football fans. We laughed and poked fun at each other’s teams. Until, an unfamiliar face walked in. He asked me why I would ever be a Pittsburgh fan. I explained that my father was a Pittsburgh fan and I was Daddy’s little girl so I jumped on the Steelers bus at a young age. I took a breath and I began to tell them a story about my father.


I was twelve years old and the most excited I’ve ever been in my short-lived life. That morning I ran down the steps. On the way down I got a robust whiff. I knew my dad was making omelets. This must have been a special occasion because my Dad usually only made his omelets on Christmas morning. After breakfast I followed my dad outside. He sat down on one of the rocking chairs on our front porch with the family dog, Jax. Jax was a boxer and did not like strangers. If anyone else besides my father took him outside without a leash he would be gone in a second chasing after something. My dad had a special way with animals. He was wearing a loose fitting Steelers sweatshirt, his usual jeans, and a Pittsburgh hat. He pulled out a cigar lit it and sat back in the chair. He rocked and studied the scenery. My father didn’t believe in talking when it wasn’t necessary. I looked at him as I sat cross-legged on the concrete porch. “Dad do you think Pittsburgh’s going to win?” He blew out smoke looked down at me and said, “I don’t know Gina” as he rubbed his hand on his forehead. My dad rarely took off of work, not even for holidays. This was big. I went back inside and began to help my mother clean and set up the food for the game. My dad never liked to order food out. He believed strongly in not wasting money on eating out all the time. That day we actually had subs, pasta dishes, potato salad, and wings all from restaurants. As the game began my heart pounded. My father had a few superstitions. One was when the opposing team was going for a field goal you’d stick out your pinky and pointer finger on both hands with all the others down. My dad would pick a side for the ball to go to and aim his fingers that way. Most of the time it actually worked and my brother and I swore that it was sacred. We called it a jinx. The Steelers lost to the Cowboys that day 27-17. I yelled at the TV but my Dad didn’t really say too much towards the end of the game. He would yell but then he’d walk out of the room to yell even louder. He wouldn’t even answer the phone. The game took over all of his emotions.



When I sat up last night in my bed I couldn’t help but imagine the daunting day ahead of me. I went through my itinerary over and over again in my head. The night dragged on. I pulled myself out of bed and slumped over to my computer. I have to write something for him, something special. I wrote about my Dad’s personality and of course our main bond the Pittsburgh Steelers. My mom knocked on the door and said that I better start getting ready. I began talking to myself. “Okay Gina, you can do this. You can do this.” I still hadn’t cried. I hesitantly strolled over to my brother Louis’s room. I stared at the closed door for what seemed to be an hour but was only a few seconds. I prepared to knock, clenched my hand in a fist and then released it. “Come on Gina, take a deep breath.” I clenched my fist for a second time and tapped on the door. “Yeah?” He sounded so tired. “Louis we have to leave soon are you almost ready?” The door opened. My brother walked out in a suit. He was never ready before my mother and I.
Louis drove my mother and I to the funeral home. The car ride seemed to have only lasted a few seconds. No one spoke. My brother got out of the car and proceeded to walk. I took a deep breath and opened my mother’s door. Everyone was looking at us. I’ll never forget how everyone looked at us. They cried and expected us to bawl. Everyone’s eyes were scrolling our faces trying to read how we were feeling. I thought to myself a lot that day, stop looking at me, I’m ok just stop looking at me.
At the cemetery everyone was still studying my family. My mom already had her moments in the church and at the wake. She let some of it out but she even told me herself that she didn’t want to show her emotion. My brother still hadn’t cried so I wasn’t going to. We made it past the funeral without a tear. When I tried to fall asleep that night I cried, but it was okay because no one knew. I knew that my brother was in the next room doing the same thing. I looked at the wall between my brother’s room and mine. I wanted to pick up one of the walkie-talkies we used to use as kids and ask him if he was awake. My brother and I were always close even when we were arguing. I looked at a picture of my mom, dad, brother, and I. I cried maybe my brother knows what I’m going through. We always went through everything together even our wrestling faze.




I loved to compete with my brother. I just wanted to be one of the boys. Whatever my brother did I wanted to do it even better. We would watch wrestling and play outside. My brother and I even used to stage wrestling matches between each other. My brother is fourteen months older than I but I still felt like I could compete. We would both start in a corner and we would begin on our knees. The fights grew intense and sometimes my dog Jax would try to protect me from my brother. Jax would wedge his way in between the two of us then get on top of my brother and growl. Sometimes my brother would catch me in a bad spot or I would get hurt and I would start to cry. My dad would come down the steps and say, “Gina, don’t wrestle with Louis if you can’t handle it. Don’t cry just fight back.” I didn’t understand why my dad said this. I thought my brother should be punished but in turn I got yelled at. My brother would smirk at me and that always made my anger boil. I got angry and tackled my brother. Of course, after a struggle he ended up pinning me down again and I grunted with frustration. He was just stronger then me and I couldn’t face that.




My heart was pounding; it was a week away. I was so anxious, but prepared. I knew what was coming. This was something that I’ve have looked forward to since I was a little girl. That day I went to Party City. I stocked up on black and yellow plates, napkins, cups, utensils, and decorations. I had my whole outfit picked out. Even though my outfit was ready I think I must have changed it about fifty times. I don’t understand now what the difference is between one jersey and another but at the time it really mattered.
The day of the Super bowl I woke up at seven o’clock in the morning. Needless to say everyone in my house thought I was crazy for setting up so early. My mom helped me with the food preparations. I got subs, wings, salads, burgers, and everything else I could think of. My boyfriend and my brother helped me set up balloons and streamers. My heart was pounding I walked out of the room and took a breath as I walked back in the room was overtaken with black and yellow. My boyfriend sat on the couch watching the pre-game while I ran around. He told me to relax, but when he says that it never seems to register. After the downstairs was all set up I went upstairs to start getting ready. My hair was not working that day. I must have sat in front of the mirror for two hours. I’m not one of those girls that takes two hours just to get her hair done, but today was special.
As my guests started to arrive, I was still running around my mom’s house. Everyone was busting my chops saying that Pittsburgh was going to loose. I didn’t really listen to them. They even ended up taking bets with each other on who was going to win and by how much. This, I have to admit ticked me off, but hey what can you do. Most of my friends and family members were seated on a large brown sectional couch in front of the big screen TV. We had bar stools set up behind it like stadium seating. There is also a bar on the wall cornered from the TV that some were sitting at. My seat was a folding chair about one foot from the television. It was time for the coin toss.
My heart was pounding come on Pittsburgh! We won the coin toss I screamed and cheered. My friends all looked at me as if I were crazy. My yellow and black Pittsburgh hat was pulled down low on my forehead. I was focused ready to have a good game. I smeared black eyeliner about an inch underneath my eyes just like the players do. My jersey was worn proud. I even had Pittsburgh socks on. I waved my towel in the air even before the kickoff began. My friends and family all sat relaxed with beers in their hand. The game took over all of my emotions. Steelers 21 Seahawks 10! I started to cry in front of everyone. My boyfriend game me a big hug and even he started to tear. I looked over at my mom and gave her a hug tighter then I ever have before. She was crying too. I whispered in her ear, “he should’ve been here” she replied, “I know”. I looked over at my brother and he sat there emotionless. I knew he didn’t make my journey yet. He would let it out when he least expected. I let it out two years after my father past, my brother would have to just wait for it to hit him.

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Thanks for reading my essay. As for feedback I'd really like any that you could give me. I don't really have any specific questions for feedback. Just let me know if I should include anything else or if anything is unclear. Thanks again!-Gina