Blog 6- Memoir

I don't know about this idea. Let me know what you guys think. It was the only thing that I could think to write about. Let me know if it is too confusing and if my intention is clear. I also changed a couple of names so I don't upset anyone. Thanks!!!

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I started to breathe faster and faster while, tears poured down my face. How could he do this to me? I had just hung up the phone with my boyfriend, Danny. He just got back from vacationing in the Dominican Republic and this was his first phone call to let me know he was home okay. When I picked up the phone I was nervous and I don’t know why. I was with him for two years and for some reason I was nervous to talk to him. We had the most awkward conversation that I ever experienced. I decided to tell him about a dream that I had the night before we talked. I told him that I had a dream that he kissed another girl. He told me that the dream was true. He didn’t even stutter he told me just kind of like, “Oh by the way that really did happen”. He seemed like he thought everything was just going to be okay. Danny then explained that it was the girl that his family went on vacation with who is a family friend. Of course before the trip Danny assured me that he had no feelings for her and that she was just a family friend. Danny explained to me that he never loved me. He fell in love with her in a week! Just a week! I screamed so loud into the phone. My neighbors even came over to check on me.
I glared outside into the woods with the phone held up to my ear. Danny isn’t crying, scared, nervous, or angry. All of those emotions are pouring out of me right now. Danny is calm and he has the nerve to say that he wants to be my friend. He wants to go to clubs with me to pick up guys. I must have hung up on Danny about twenty times that night but he kept calling back. That night I found out that he cheated on me with four girls. That night my world came crashing down. I kept breathing faster and faster while, tears poured down my face. How could he do this to me? How did we get to this point?








Everyday in English class I’d stare at him. It wasn’t too obvious because I sat behind him but I’m sure that every once in a while he’d catch me looking. We were friends but not as close as I wanted us to be. I’d lean my head on my hand and just day dream about what it would be like if I was his girlfriend. His body was long and lean with large biceps. He was a boxer and his body reflected that. His skin was milky white and his hair was jet black and curly. His hair shined from the gel he slopped in it every morning. His eyes were soft brown and his lips were full. His style, taste in music, and sense of humor all matched mine.
We became closer and closer as friends. I would drive him to school and drop him off at home after our usual Dunkin’ Doughnuts trip everyday. My feelings grew stronger and stronger and I finally got up enough courage to tell him that I had feelings for him. When I told him he said he didn’t want to ruin our friendship and we should remain friends. This was our junior year of high school. He was absent from school most of the second half of his junior year. I was really worried about him because he wasn’t picking up his phone. Until he finally came back to school acting like everything was okay.






I sat at my kitchen table after work. Every time that I was going through something tough I actually liked going to work. Work keeps my mind off of everything so I never really call out. I placed my head on the table as the tears kept coming. My mom came over because she was worried. She actually drove up all the way from down the shore just to make sure I was okay. I was supposed to go to my best friend Anna’s house later that night. The phone rang; it was Danny’s brother. I looked at my mom, took a deep breath and swallowed. Danny’s brother told me that Danny was in the hospital. I didn’t make it to my friend’s house that night. When I called her she knew that I wasn’t going to be able to drive over to her house so she came over my apartment. I don’t think Anna really knew how much I was going to need her that night until she got there.






When Danny finally came back to school we didn’t really talk. Then out of the blue over the summer Danny said that he wanted to go get coffee with me. I rushed over to pick him up. Danny didn’t look the same. He put on weight and his eyes were dazed. Over coffee Danny explained to me what happened to him. Danny has bipolar disorder and was committed to a hospital to get help. I told him that I was worried about him but I’d always be his friend.
We saw each other a good amount that summer. Senior year rolled around and we were inseparable. We were always together and always joking around. Danny kept throwing me hints that he liked me and I was getting more and more attached. This was driving me crazy. When I was driving him to blockbuster one day I got really annoyed. He did his usually sneaky flirty comment and smiles and then changed the subject. I quickly pulled the car over and looked at him. I demanded that Danny tell me what was going on with us. That’s when he said it, “I , I think that we should be more than friends”. I hit the steering wheel with my palms and said “no!” His eyes were fixed on the floor and he said that now he knew how I felt last year and that no one ever rejected him before.
Our eyes met, and he smiled. I never could resist that smile. He leaned over the center console and we kissed. I couldn’t believe we actually kissed. I drove him home and I couldn’t wait to go home and tell all of my friends what happened! When I walked in the door I quickly called Anna.






The doorbell rang, and I quickly got the door. It was Anna; she never really saw me cry until that night even though we’ve been friends since we were about five. My mom, Anna and I all sat at my kitchen table. We talked for about an hour and then the doorbell rang again. I told my mom that I didn’t feel like seeing anyone and if she could tell him or her to go away I’d appreciate it. Anna and I went in my bedroom so that whoever was at the door wouldn’t know I was home. My mom came to my bedroom door and her face was pale. I looked at her confused. As she pulled the door open a little bit more there he was. Danny was standing at my door out of breath. He looked at me and said hello then fell to the middle of my bedroom floor. He still had the IV in his arm and he had no shirt on. I live pretty close to the hospital but it’s pretty out of the ordinary to run from the hospital either way.
As he was lying on my floor the doorbell rang again. My mother went to get it and it was the police and Danny’s parents. They all came into my bedroom and I was hutched over Danny’s body on my floor. He had his eyes closed and the police ordered him to leave. Danny screamed at them and told them to shot him because he wasn’t going back to the hospital. Danny’s mom asked him what would make him go back to the hospital. He didn’t answer. I took a deep breath gave him a hug and whispered in his ear, “please go back Danny”. He looked at me and said, “Only if you come with me you’re the only one that I trust.” I looked over at Danny’s mom and she nodded with approval.
As we walked out of my apartment Danny swayed from the drugs. He refused to get into a car so he walked with me. I remember demanding that he admit that he loved me. He would not or could not tell me. I still don’t know which one it is. We arrived in the hospital room and he was passing and walking down all the hallways. He wouldn’t stay in the room. The doctor finally arrived and Danny lied in the hospital bed. Danny had to sign papers to be admitted and he asked me if I thought that he should. I told him that he should get the help that he needs. He signed the papers and passed out in the hospital bed holding my hand and listening to music.






I remember the next day at school everyone was talking about how Danny and me are dating. I went to his house after school and he said that we needed to talk. He told me that we weren’t official. He didn’t understand why I was telling people that we were. This was when I knew that I had to break it off with him. We sat on his front steps with about a foot of space between us. I told him that if he couldn’t only be with me then I didn’t want to be with him at all. I did not want to let myself get hurt. Danny turned to me and said, “ Gina, do you know how many girls want me right now?” I looked at him and said some comment with attitude and stormed off. I left his house crying. My phone started to ring. Danny told me no matter how many girls he is talking to right now, I’m more important. I gave in.





Derek pulled his headphones off of one ear and asked me where Kristen was. I walked away from the bed at stared at the wall. That’s her name, Kristen. That’s who he loves and I’m standing here in the hospital holding his hand. I tried to hold in the tears but it showed. Danny’s mother asked me what was wrong. I told her what had happened and I looked at her square in the eye. I told her that I loved her son. I never got along with Danny’s mom until that night. Danny and I never got back together. I visited him in the hospital every time I was aloud to and I sent him things everyday. When he was released we were friends but that became to hard and we had to let go.